I feel like cleaning and replacing the head of my electric toothbrush is a form of self-care that's not talked about enough. Just now I removed the crusty (really was awful, the bristles probably say something about my current level of stress) brush head, wiped off all the residual toothpaste and clipped in a new fitting. The process, the aftermath, I mean I myself even feel clean.
This week has been busy busy BUSY, let's get into it.
1. Jules and I escaped to IKEA in the week to buy stuff for the flat and purchase we did. New mugs, more cutlery, throw cushions, a table runner. Yes.
2. Look at these autumnal vibes in the living room, so cosy.
3. I made granola, again.
4. Double parked working from bed.
5. Ummm yes. I saw a gourmet fish finger sandwich recipe on TikTok and had to recreate. Comprised of some lettuce, a fair amount of mayonnaise and two fish fingers, each sandwich is cased inside a delicious brioche bun. (However, after three days of eating these consecutively, I felt sick).
Not pictured:
The fish tacos I made last night with out of date corn wraps and disintegrated fried fish. Disaster.
Other stuff:
I enjoyed the 'closing tabs' post where I wrote about webpages I was cleansing my phone of so here's this weeks offering. Do we just love one person forever? (Note I spelt person perdon because I was in a hurry for the answer). Wide leg suit pants. Gymshark shorts. Women's Air Force 1 shoes. London laundry services. Jennifer Connelly's Wikipedia page (I looked this up after watching half of A Beautiful Mind but felt odd because an ex said I looked like her). That stupid Listen Alike thing that Spotify rolled out in the week. The lyrics to My Best Friends in The World from Adventure Time. Cable Kickbacks. BBC News homepage. An introduction to the type of personality I have on 16personalities.com (I'm not going to share my result because I don't think it was right). Zara homepage. Define: ophthalmology. A Ramen recipe.
Yesterday I watched the RBG documentary on Netflix and started crying five minutes in. Truly incredible and aspirational. You have to watch it. (Jules and I also started watching Ratched but it's confusing me).
Quote forever: "Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn't be that women are the exception." Ruth Bader Ginsburg
And another from the documentary: 'I ask no favours for my sex, all I ask of our brethren is that they will take their feet from off our necks' - Sarah Moore Grimké
Have a great week everyone,
Lauren xo
I'm currently eating my favourite Ben & Jerry's ice cream and listening to a Ted Talk while I reflect on the past week. We had some radiators installed in our flat on Tuesday and I have to say they've transformed the space. Is finding joy in this something that makes me an adult? I think so, yes. The electricians are coming back tomorrow to fix a light fitting, how exciting.
Did anyone else feel like this weekend was fast, I did so much and so little at the same time, how can that be???
1. It's JULES' birthday! Shoutout to the best flatmate who somehow, miraculously, managed to put up with me for five months when we were both not working and living through a global pandemic in lockdown.
2. I whipped this chocolate cake up today, I wish I could say I made it from scratch but I used a Betty Crocker box cake ha ha ha. Looks so good though! The icing is chocolate fudge!
3. Working in a cafe in the week. I think it's so crucial to get out of the flat sometimes when working from home (if you can!) Some places have super sucky WiFi though, so if you're settling down for the day somewhere find a spot with good internet.
4. Let's take a moment to talk about the AirPod Pros - in all seriousness the noise-cancelling setting brings my anxiety way, way, WAY down. I was working in a coffee shop the other day and I wasn't even playing any music, I just sat there with my AirPods in and I felt like I could properly collect my thoughts. As someone who struggles in busy social settings, this is amazing. Don't my piercings look cool here too!
5. Nuturious WFH lunch consisting of a half eaten caprese salad (I ate all the mozzarella), dairylea dunkers and a bottle of Curiosity Cola.
Other bits:
1. I have a reoccurring ganglion cyst (totally fine, none fatal) in my wrist that just hangs out there sometimes. I went to the doctors like, three years ago about it and he suggested draining the cyst. I had to hold my hand upright on the side of the desk while he produced the biggest needle I've ever seen in my life and proceeded to push it into the swelling on my wrist. I have never felt pain like that and he was, unfortunately, unable to extract any fluid. The procedure did alleviate some of the pressure from built up fluid but now the ganglion cyst has returned. She's back. That's it, that's the story.
2. I've started watching The Fall on Netflix which feels so bizarrely familiar, like I've seen it before?
Quote for the week: "Rowing harder doesn't help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction." - Organizational theorist Kenichi Ohmae on the difference between being efficient and being effective, which is from James Clear's 3-2-1 emails that I highly recommend subscribing to if you haven't already.
Until the next one!
Lauren xo
It's a Saturday night and I’m steadily closing tabs on my phone's browser because I feel anything past 40 is too many.
Signs you could be a hypochondriac? Gone. How to be emotionally available. Gone. Julia Roberts films. Gone. Steve Jobs quotes. Gone. Polyfilla. Gone. Who falls in love faster? Men vs women. Gone. TIPHEDE IKEA rug. Gone. (I quite liked that actually) A website about a podiatrist in the area. Gone. What’s the difference between a cold, the flu, seasonal allergies and coronavirus? Gone. (But I’ll be fishing through my history for that in five minutes) At least 15 tabs on cardigans. Gone. Can you take paracetamol tablets if you’ve used ibuprofen gel? Gone. The same website three times because I kept forgetting what I was searching for. Gone. The 36 questions that lead to love. Gone.
Ruthless.
I have two permanent tabs I never close. They remain at the top like limescale floating in a freshly made cup of tea, brewed from a kettle that’s not been cleaned in a while. Still good though. Tab one is the link to my final Masters' project that exists forever (I hope) on the printer’s website. It’s been two years since I graduated and I still look over this. It amazes me. Tab two is Le Labo Eau de Parfum - Another 13. Don’t talk to me till you’ve smelt it.
I now feel at least 1% digitally lighter.
It’s a real balmy evening in London and I’m writing this as I’m trying, yet again, to make an oversized shirt work for me. I bought a corduroy one a size too big so it’s essentially doubly oversized. In theory, this should look sexy, I should look sexy but I just look like a painter, every single time. Someone let me get behind a potter’s wheel, I’m ready...I’ve added a sweater vest and it’s only getting worse...Wait, it’s a moment!!...No, it’s not...Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Fuck, I hate doing returns.
Before I go I just wanted to share this poem I saw on the Overground while travelling home the other night - makes me feel a bit emotional.
BYE,
Lauren xo
Right now I can’t think of anything better than London in the morning, especially when the city is just waking up and the streets are a little quiet. (It does smell of last night's vomit but, but let me romanticise this moment).
I’m sat in a park, in the shade, listening to There She Goes by The La’s as if I’m the main character in the opening scenes of a terrible rom-com, hoping that somehow somewhere there is a guy listening to this song and thinking about me. It’s warm today and I strongly believe that these rare, sunny days in September are better than the scorching ones we had back in July. It feels like the beginning of summer all over again, not that we really had a summer this year. I'm perched on this bench, totally zoned out, thinking about how I want to order a shirt from Zara with balloon sleeves because I keep reading that style of shirt is on-trend but I’m not so sure. I'll wait for Emily to get here and I'll ask her, she'll know.
Another seven days clocked in 2020 let’s do it. This week was sooo busy and I tried to blog about how much I love morning showers but didn’t get around to it. Morning showers are like a new phenomenon for me because I never really had time for them before, ever, apart from when I was getting up at 5:45am to go to the gym, but like, what even was that.
1. Coffee and croissant this morning
2. This banana split made me want to throw up after working in a cafe/restaurant all day and sampling a majority of their menu in-between zoom calls.
3. I cooked some noodles! I cooked so many noodles I’ve been eating them for three days
4. Other parts of my diet include DairyLea Dunkers
(Swim Deep just came up on shuffle and I feel like I’m taking some sort of tragic nose drive into 2013)
5. I got my necklace repaired in Hatton Garden and they did such a fab job. I took it to Regency Jewels and can’t wait till I can go back with my fiancé and buy an engagement ring one day probably never.
6. London in the morning! Essential liquids.
7. I've just arranged these flowers, what do we think?
Other bits:
1. Oversized Poplin Shirt in question from Zara
2. I've started taking my phone off silent because I think it sounds cool when I type
3. I'm literally listening to Catfish & The Bottlemen, help.
4. Someone at work the other day told me that you can type 'year: XYZ' into the search bar on Spotify and it'll play any music from the year you put in, so like you could search 'year: 1998' and it'll just play all the songs that were popular that year. I had no idea about this, how do people discover this?
A quote for the week: "constant vigilance will not keep you from getting hurt" - something I saw on Pinterest
Until the next one,
Lauren xo
I've just finished doing a tax return for the first time ever and I feel like a fully-fledged adult. It's the most grown-up thing I've done in like... a while, besides walking into the jewellers and getting a necklace fixed like I was about to drop £10,000 on an engagement ring, for myself.
Anyway, another seven days down. Let's get into ittttt.
1. The bunting is finally finished wooooooo! I really like it, it's very delicate and the tape I've used to hold the letters down with isn't very sticky but yeah, it looks good. My 16-year-old Tumblr self would be proud.
2. I was up so early in the week one morning that I had enough time to make granola before work...
3. ...and the next day I made banana bread with chocolate chips.
4. Discovered this is what I look like after a work zoom call. I took a screenshot on Photobooth because I was too far from a mirror and couldn't be bothered to move and I just wanted to check if I looked alright. Did you know that zoom has a setting that's supposed to make you look better??
Other bits:
1. I don't have any pictures but I've finally made it back to the gym now they've reopened. (I honestly ache in places that I'd totally forgotten even exist, my ribs hurt, and my arms hurt, my knees hurt).
2. Jules and I bought a new coffee table from IKEA and it comes in two weeks - how exciting, another adult thing to add to the list.
3. I can't sleep at the moment, honestly, I feel awful.
Quote of the week: “Some days I am more wolf than woman, and I am still learning how to stop apologizing for my wild.”
- Nikita Gill
UNTIL the next one,
Lauren xo
I'm on my way back to London on a quick train (only one stop) and here's what I'm currently thinking about: one time I took a picture (while on a crowded commute) of this black Labrador sat opposite me. There were no seats free so we were crammed into the vestibule - me, the dog and the dog’s owner perched on the permanently damp carpet of a south-west England train. To my horror, I’d accidentally left the flash on when I went to snap the adorable pooch. I apologised immediately but the exchange haunts me to this day.
Okay, now we've relived that horrific moment let's answer the question in today's post: Yes? Because, why not?
12 months ago I would've vehemently disagreed. Past life Lauren thought being vulnerable meant sitting down with a guy and saying: 'well, unfortunately, this happened to me... and then this... and then that... AND then this also happened... and it was bizarre and I'm really just trying to come to terms with it all... is that alright? What do you think? It's awful, isn't it? Oh, God. I don't feel any better for telling you, I don't even know you... I'm going outside to call my parents and I'll probably vomit in an alleyway, can you please watch my bag while I do that?'.
Orchestrated in my head with all the dramatic trimmings, this was something I was not prepared to put myself through, obviously.
Now future, adult, slightly more rational mid-twenties Lauren realises it's not about laying out your entire life story immediately. I mean, it could be if it's the right person I don't know, but for me, honestly, vulnerability means being yourself, as corny as that sounds. Admittedly, first dates can be rather tricky (especially if you met on a dating app, it's basically a blind date) and there's a tendency to want to really impress the opposite party, sniff each other out like dogs and wonder if the guy with the Guinness moustache opposite you will get on with your brothers. It can be so awkward and everyone's so nervous, how can you be yourself? Maybe you throw in a Latin phrase (I've done this, don't do this), maybe you order something you usually wouldn't, maybe you tell them something you wish you hadn't whatever, whatever, whatever, take a deep breath and think, are you there for them or you? Would you be having a good time with you? (Yes, by the way, the answer is always yes).
I told a guy once (on a first date) that I read the newspaper specifically on Wednesday’s because I liked the way the restaurant critic (Fay Maschler) wrote. This was an interaction I later chastised myself for because my admission sounded so uncool. But I really did love reading those reviews in the paper on a Wednesday evening, why did I hate myself so much for mentioning it?
Plus restaurant reviews are great.
Yes? Yes.
Honestly, it's futile not being yourself, pointless, all the tiny things about you that you think are banal or uninteresting all fuse together to form the perfect concoction that is YOU.
Relevant quote: “Never go in search of love, go in search of life, and life will find you the love you seek.”
- Atticus
Goodbye, farewell, until the next one,
Lauren xo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons