This, Dear Readers, is my 300th post.
Welcome.
I’m working in our living room and it smells slightly of off milk coupled with something stale which reminds me of being on an aeroplane. Next to me on the floor is a hastily ripped open box from amazon because I ordered us some sieves last night for the flat. I’ve not worn makeup for three days and it’s so nice to sit here and rub my eyes without worrying if I’m going to fuck up my eyeliner. I caught my nail in the fridge door and I’m chewing off remnants of keratin because the split is just that bit too low.
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What makes this a special post?
Hmmmmmmmmm. I need to return an ASOS parcel because I bought an oversized boyfriend shirt (ironic) that makes me look more like a painter having a mid-life crisis and less like a stylish post-royal-family Princess Diana (which I wanted). I also bought a top which ties at either side of my body but it fits me like an A4 piece of paper.
The bunting is on pause for the time being because last weekend completely got away from me. I woke up with a folded C in my bed this morning and, after breakfast, stared at it partially crumpled on the floor as I tried to figure out where it came from.
I’ve found myself listening to a lot of the music I used to play when I was 17/18 - I hope my neighbours don’t mind. It oddly helps me concentrate, and after a few bad anxiety attacks this week, has enabled me to feel a bit more grounded in myself.
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The button on an old ice hockey jersey I’m wearing just ripped through and broke. I felt it pulling earlier in the supermarket when I was buying crusty bread and tomatoes. I think even if I sew it now it won’t help.
Do you ever write something and then read it back and think ‘fuck, I nailed that?'
My friend's perfume makes me feel sick and I'm trying to work out how to tell her.
Does anyone get anxiety before positing a letter?
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I started this blog in 2016 when I was just a few months shy of turning 21. What a tumultuous and destructive plate I was about to be served. Just now I was putting some butter away in the fridge and decided to give my brain a metaphorical pat on the back for how hard we’ve both worked together to erase so many painful memories. I’m also slightly cursing the organ in my skull for frequently donning a pair of rose-coloured glasses and being an idiot.
Also as this is the 300th post I want to thank my blog, The Lauren Edit, for being my rock, my cornerstone, my silly little slice of the Internet that got me my masters, my first internship, probably my second and most definitely my job AND ultimately, the fuck out of Edinburgh.
Well done 20-year old Lauren, you strong woman.
I actually went back and found my first post, which you can read here, I am as apologetic as ever.
Also, thank you to anyone who has come to read my blog over the years, I hope you have been able to find something in my writing that resonates with you!
To finish, here is my forever quote: “Whatever you choose, however many roads you travel, I hope that you choose not to be a lady. I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women."
- Nora Ephron
Until the next one,
Lauren xo
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