I ate Weetabix with a dash (it really was a thimble) of milk last night for dinner while I contemplated if I had heatstroke or not. (Conclusion? I didn’t and still don’t.) Prior to this, I ate two chicken strips with a side of mayonnaise as I tried to finish a London Underground puzzle kindly gifted to me by my older brother. A 1000 piece overview of our capital’s transport system, I decided to tell Jules (she wasn’t listening, I was just talking at her) about all the different stations I’ve visited while the jigsaw was beginning to take shape.
“I’m just wondering.. did you have coffee today!?” Jules asked.
“...Yes! But you know I never drink caffeine!”
(I had, in fact, been drinking caffeine that morning)
Reminiscing about how tube travel used to be a nonchalant thing, I begin my narration to Jules about when I went to East Finchley with a photographer friend to take images for a university project way back when. Then I went to Pontoon Dock (?! This was an in the moment idea). I also went to Acton once to speak to someone about trains (this was a different day) and the furthest I’ve been on the Central Line is Stratford (Eastbound) and Shepherds Bush (Westbound). I went to view a room in Colliers Wood (almost at the end of the Northern Line going South) a few years ago and it was very, very, very small. Anyway, I was enthusiastically walking down memory lane when I turned to Jules (she had to pause her game to listen to me ramble) and said: “don’t you think it’s weird how we used to get on the tube and go anywhere, like, anywhere, and now we won’t do that for ages?”
I found myself in a card shop a few days ago, pumping sanitiser into my hand while using the contactless payment cube from halfway across the store so as to not be too close to the cashier, when the lady behind the till told me its been ‘mayhem’ and a couple of hours into her shift she just ‘forgets’ what’s going on and ‘it’s very hard’ and ‘weird’. I nodded my head in agreement and so did the other customer (only three in the shop at once, does this include the store owner?) as we did that awkward British thing of making excruciatingly polite conversation when we just want to leave.
Once back outside I got to thinking: my busy little life slowed to a halt five months ago and in that time I’ve provided barely any headspace for the question of what lies ahead in the great unknown. Walking along the streets I pass pubs with signs reminding me that they sell eggs and bread (as well as pints), I pass stickers on the floor for social distancing prompts and I see placards in the park to reiterate the two-meter rule. I then feel strangely panicked about how this all became so normal.
I’ve had numerous conversations with different people over the past months who’ve all told me, vehemently, that they won’t be using the tube for a considerable amount of time. No public transport at all, it’s off the cards. Done. Fin. Over. Find another way. Bike or on foot or I don’t know what else, electric scooter? Car?
I'll admit I've used the DLR once (which I've been informed is different from taking the tube) and I've been steadily increasing the number of times I use the bus, refamiliarising myself with the capital's incredible transport system. There's been hand sanitiser at each station, and generally speaking, people abide by the face mask rules. But it doesn't feel the same, and I don't think it ever will. I'm very anxious all the time and, when I do use public transport, I want to go home and sterilise my clothes before taking a hot bath in Detoll (don't do this).
Looking at this London Underground jigsaw now does make me feel sad though. Maybe it’s because I started off with putting together the pieces that were most familiar to me: my usual route home, or because there’s so much of the capital left to explore that I now worry I’ll never have time to?
JUST A THOUGHT AS WE TRY AND NAVIGATE THESE DIFFICULT TIMES TOGETHER AND THEY START OPENING UP LONDON AGAIN.
Take care, wear your mask, wash your hands, goodbye,
Lauren x
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