Today in the chronicles of ‘Lauren’s bizarre interactions with the general public’, and while out on my midday quarantine stroll earlier, a toddler slowed down on his pushbike, Dad in tow, dropped said pushbike and ran full force toward me. Clinging on to my legs, I just want to take this opportunity to tell you that that child was not my child and I have never met these people before in my life. The Dad asked if I was alright. Am I alright, world? Am I doing okay? I apologised and walked away. I’m not going outside again.
After that, I joined a supermarket queue. I get confused between the entrance of the store and the entrance to the pharmacy but everyone else looks like they know what they're doing so I just scowl and pretend too. While standing there I enjoy the sun at its highest point before I realise that I am a) not adequately dressed for this weather and b) getting sunburnt. On the search for some ‘nice crusty bread’ and ‘fancy crisps’ to spice things up a bit, I think I might pick up some wine too. I don’t like wine. Last night Jules and I shared some Premium Passion Fruit Martinis in a can that I’d bought from Tesco. They were terrible.
On a happier note, my evening was vastly improved by the fact that I had cooked enough Chorizo Carbonara (you're welcome) to last me for two dinners. What a silver lining. What a moment. Cracking open the Tupperware, I can tell you now that in these desperate times I’m including making food that lasts for multiple meals in the list of life’s greatest pleasures. This selection of things also covers not having to wash up, doing a weeks worth of shopping for under £30, and getting home to have a nice cup of tea after an hour of dodging the public.
The key to making it last is cooking food that is freezable. Bolognese, lasagne, pie bases without their lid. This brings large scale cooking down to a minimum, where it should be. A once a week jaunt if you’re lucky. (When I know I have food I can reheat, then I know I have more time to think about how the world is going to end and everything is over). Our freezer has been at the heart of our lockdown, and it stands stocked high with chicken goujons, fries, peas (really, so many packets of frozen peas) and sweetcorn.
Alternatively, you have your pasta and rice dishes, that when all combined together don’t really freeze. BUT, they will sit happily in the fridge for several days, so that’s at least two nights of the week you don’t have to get out 15 pans before washing everything up till your hands are redraw.
Salad? I don’t make salad. I don't even look at salad. I don't even think about salad.
On tonight's menu for dinner is the food I made yesterday. The preparation of this meal will include me taking off the Tupperware lid, microwaving the pasta for maybe two/three minutes, perhaps adding some parmesan for flare and then sitting down to watch episode 897 of The Walking Dead.
Other bits:
I'm listening to Summer Girl by Haim to trick my mind into thinking I'm going to be enjoying June, July and August of this year.
If anyone in the general public is reading this, please give me a wide birth on the street and don't interact with me under any circumstances. This will still stand after the social distancing rules have changed. Thank you.
GOODBYE,
Lauren x
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