I just want to make it perfectly clear that, like the rest of the world at the moment, the only time I venture beyond the parameters of my flat is to either a) go for a walk or b) go to the supermarket. Sometimes the two coincide. I don’t even stand outside our front door in the morning and observe the world, which I can’t do anyway, even if I wanted to, we back onto a bunch of offices and get no sun this side.
Anyway, yesterday before heading out I got dressed, straightened my hair, put on makeup and popped a hay fever tablet. Feeling together, I walked along the streets of London as the blossom from the trees blew through my hair like a Disney movie. Clutching onto an extensive shopping list I had written over the Easter weekend, I set my sights on a Tesco I had been meaning to visit due to its small and fast-moving queue.
In the first two weeks of lockdown, I felt that ‘getting ready for the day’ (that’s in quotation marks because what does getting ready for the day even mean anymore?) was arbitrary and redundant. I wasn’t going into the office, I wasn't going to have eye contact with a mysteriously handsome stranger on the tube at 8:00am who I was then never going to see again, so who cares? My flatmates don’t care, I don’t care, what's the point? For 14 days I carried on with this mindset, applauding myself for saving both on makeup wipes and not using my eyeliner, mascara or blush. I let my hair go unbrushed and I was only shaving my legs up to my knees in the shower.
Once the initial adjustment period passed, and I had cycled through all my pyjamas and loungewear, I realised that I never felt nice, right? I never felt special. I wasn’t wearing any of my favourite clothes or shoes, I was just moping around in an oversized t-shirt that had various food stains on it, pretending that this was some abstract form of self-care.
It doesn't have to be every day that I sit down, style my hair and arduously draw on winged eyeliner to then go and stand in a queue outside a supermarket for 15 minutes, but every once in awhile it helps, honestly. Even if you aren't going anywhere, just do it for yourself.
Other Bits
I still can’t do a press-up
I’ve been watching a Korean show on Netflix called Crash Landing on You - stop what you’re doing right now and put it on. Each episode is like an hour and a half long but it's so worth it.
I have a moodboard Instagram account where I post pictures of things I like @lawhr0n
Until next time,
Lauren x
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