Lauren_Edit

Last night I walked out on season seven episode one of The Walking Dead after spending the first 15 minutes with my head in my hood and my fingers in my ears. ‘This is barbaric’ I said to Jules as I fled to my room. I then spent several plays of Paramore’s 'I Caught Myself’ lying down before messaging my flatmate to ask if it was okay for me to come back yet. ‘I want to see the rest of it, just not this bit’ I lied. I returned and caught the last five minutes.

This should really come as no surprise to me as I’d already searched Google to see when/if some of my favourite characters were going to be killed off. I know how annoying that is but I do it anyway, like skipping through an episode to see if the lead protagonist survives a car crash, or reading an entire film review online without even seeing the movie. I like to know what’s going on. Plus if you think about it, it's really a 50% surprise because I don’t actually know how they’re going to be killed off I just know that they are. There’s a difference.

I went out for a walk today in the London drizzle and noticed that everyone has started to abide by lockdown rules now the weather has shifted. The joggers are still as persistent as ever, but thanks to the puddles you can hear their feet now and not just their distant heavy dry heaves as they get closer (please don’t breathe in my face when you run past, please don’t breathe in my face when you run past). There wasn’t much to contemplate on my walk, nor was there really anything to see. I don’t think I could live on a narrowboat though, which is something I did consider as I strolled along the canal. I spotted one with a 'for sale’ in the window and I just thought “no... not really”. I’m looking at narrowboat interiors right now and it just doesn't entice me at all, but each to their own! I’ll cross that one off the list.

Other bits:
I just got a massive bit of brownie in my Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream. This is my third pint of lockdown, just FYI.
I finished Itaewon Class and it was so good! (I even cried and we all know I struggle to cry these days).
I took a photo of a plane in the sky earlier because its been a while since I've seen one.

I don't have anything else to say so I'm just going to stop here,

Lauren x

*The image of this blog post is from When Harry Met Sally which is arguably one of my favourite films.

At the beginning of all this, I bought an odd flavour of toothpaste when I thought we’d never be able to buy toothpaste again. One of my many ‘essential’ panic buys that resulted in me also owning a reserve shampoo (but not conditioner), a lot of electric toothbrush heads and a big bottle aftersun (what? I might get burnt?), these items live on the top shelf of my wardrobe and every time I get dressed I am reminded of my own stupidity. Of course, now you can buy all the things you need from the supermarket with ease, (excluding flour while everyone goes through their home baking phase of lockdown).

Settling into the 2020 vision for living (isolation is the new trend), I’m trying to determine what essential has really evolved to mean. Obviously, I know it’s food, water, toiletries, having access to the things that make day to day living comfortable and bearable. But I’ve come to realise that essential also translates to a magnitude of other things that either a) can’t be bought (like my love) or b) arrive when I’ve forgotten I ordered them so they’re like a mini surprise when I go to check the post.

All jokes aside, I have discovered that lockdown has forced me into an intense state of self-reflection that has seen my mental health improve drastically. I've had to face my problems head-on (because my Sims never really have any issues to resolve so I’m fixing my own). I'm buying golden syrup so I can draw a smiley face on my morning Ready Brek, adding whipped cream to my hot chocolate, sharing a horrible bottle of wine with my flatmate during a Facetime pub quiz (we won) and enjoying slightly melted Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream on the regular (averaging two pints a week)! In my eyes, these non-essential essential items are like a metaphorical pat on the back that we all deserve.

Other bits:
I bought some white chocolate fingers from the shop the other day and I haven’t decided if I like them or not.
I’ve almost finished another K-Drama and I’m about to be inconsolable all over again.
What do we think about leather jackets?
I keep eating vegetable soup and I hate it.

Okay, I'm going to go outside now. *Grabs a handful of chocolate fingers and leaves*

Lauren xo

Today in the chronicles of ‘Lauren’s bizarre interactions with the general public’, and while out on my midday quarantine stroll earlier, a toddler slowed down on his pushbike, Dad in tow, dropped said pushbike and ran full force toward me. Clinging on to my legs, I just want to take this opportunity to tell you that that child was not my child and I have never met these people before in my life. The Dad asked if I was alright. Am I alright, world? Am I doing okay? I apologised and walked away. I’m not going outside again.

After that, I joined a supermarket queue. I get confused between the entrance of the store and the entrance to the pharmacy but everyone else looks like they know what they're doing so I just scowl and pretend too. While standing there I enjoy the sun at its highest point before I realise that I am a) not adequately dressed for this weather and b) getting sunburnt. On the search for some ‘nice crusty bread’ and ‘fancy crisps’ to spice things up a bit, I think I might pick up some wine too. I don’t like wine. Last night Jules and I shared some Premium Passion Fruit Martinis in a can that I’d bought from Tesco. They were terrible.

On a happier note, my evening was vastly improved by the fact that I had cooked enough Chorizo Carbonara (you're welcome) to last me for two dinners. What a silver lining. What a moment. Cracking open the Tupperware, I can tell you now that in these desperate times I’m including making food that lasts for multiple meals in the list of life’s greatest pleasures. This selection of things also covers not having to wash up, doing a weeks worth of shopping for under £30, and getting home to have a nice cup of tea after an hour of dodging the public.

The key to making it last is cooking food that is freezable. Bolognese, lasagne, pie bases without their lid. This brings large scale cooking down to a minimum, where it should be. A once a week jaunt if you’re lucky. (When I know I have food I can reheat, then I know I have more time to think about how the world is going to end and everything is over). Our freezer has been at the heart of our lockdown, and it stands stocked high with chicken goujons, fries, peas (really, so many packets of frozen peas) and sweetcorn.

Alternatively, you have your pasta and rice dishes, that when all combined together don’t really freeze. BUT, they will sit happily in the fridge for several days, so that’s at least two nights of the week you don’t have to get out 15 pans before washing everything up till your hands are redraw.

Salad? I don’t make salad. I don't even look at salad. I don't even think about salad.

On tonight's menu for dinner is the food I made yesterday. The preparation of this meal will include me taking off the Tupperware lid, microwaving the pasta for maybe two/three minutes, perhaps adding some parmesan for flare and then sitting down to watch episode 897 of The Walking Dead.

Other bits:
I'm listening to Summer Girl by Haim to trick my mind into thinking I'm going to be enjoying June, July and August of this year.
If anyone in the general public is reading this, please give me a wide birth on the street and don't interact with me under any circumstances. This will still stand after the social distancing rules have changed. Thank you.

GOODBYE,

Lauren x

For the past few days, I've been cramming my life with episodes of Netflix's Korean drama: Crash Landing on You. Following the story of two lovers (Hyun Bin and Son Ye-jin) who meet in impossible circumstances (like, genuinely impossible), the show also details their surrounding lives, families, jobs, friends and the difficulties they encounter on the journey of their relationship. (I’m a hopeless romantic, just to make you aware now, so programmes like this are catnip for me).

I started out watching this series on my own before subjecting my flatmate to the 90 minute long (each episode!), 16 video marathon of this emotional rollercoaster. Enthusiastically pacing the living room, I urged Jules to join me. We watched the finale the other night (which lasts almost two hours) and I felt so attached to the characters that, now I don’t have the show to watch, I'm not entirely sure what to do with myself. When I woke up this morning I read a review of Crash Landing on You and felt a strange pang in my stomach as they discussed the last episode, reliving the persistent attempts of the star crossed lover's desire to be together regardless of their situation.

Look, I didn’t cry, but I nearly did. I actually go through phases of not being able to cry (it's a long story). The finale did make me feel sick though, is that normal?

Keeping things short, and without spoilers, I recommend this show wholeheartedly. Though not in love myself, I do marginally believe in fate and Crash Landing on You gave me moderate (yet fake, it’s a TV show, c'mon) hope for both which is an altogether nice feeling to get from a show in these utterly bizarre times.

I can’t listen to the soundtrack without feeling sad, goddammit.

Excellent quarantine watching, 10/10.

It has an average audience rating of five stars on Google!!!

Brb gonna erase all my memories so I can watch this show from the start again.

Other bits:
I made chicken pie the other night and Jules said she's going to hire me to cook for her
I'm going to start running next week, look out world.

Stay safe,

Lauren x

Plot twist: there is actually no right way to do this and it’s always painful (yet necessary). I look forward to the day when I can walk freely into a supermarket and buy all the ingredients for a three-tiered cake AND bolognese in one swoop.

I was actually writing this post yesterday while stood outside a Sainsbury's 20 minutes from our flat. Jules was reading a sign on one of the structural pillars that reiterated the two-metre distance we must maintain from other people while uttering “I never thought I’d live through something like this”. “It’s pretty mad” I agree. Then we spoke about her £5 GAP jeans and how someone could put a red bull can and an empty carton of cigarettes in the netting above our heads.

Teetering on the edge of our own strip of hazard tape, I realise my hayfever has peaked when it's really not the time. I hope people in the queue don’t think I’m sick. I hope people in the queue doing think I'm crying. This morning when I got up I sat on the toilet and sneezed 10 times in a row.

We’d already visited Tesco but couldn’t get everything we needed, so on our way home we joined the longest queue, which lined the edge of a car park and beyond, to get the last of the day’s shopping done. Someone ahead of us was using a Deliveroo bag for cold items which I thought was a really good idea*. This Sainsbury's is the biggest supermarket near us (it sells clothes, I saw someone looking at swimming costumes) but we haven’t been here since social distancing was implemented. A few weeks ago it was really bad. No loo roll. No nappies. No anything. Everyone was just standing in the aisles freaking out. I think I got some unwaxed lemons that day.

Queuing tips:
1. If the queue looks really long, it’s because it is. However, big supermarkets let in more people at a time so the queue feels like it moves faster? It's all in the mind.
2. Go with a member of your household if you can so you have someone to discuss the complexities of life with. Here’s a topic: why do dating apps exist when they cause so much pain and suffering?
3. If you’re alone don’t make eye contact with anyone just go on Instagram or Pinterest.
4. Have your tote bag and shopping list ready as you go in so you can get your items quickly and leave. I find my anxiety spikes when I've been around people for too long (but I think I was like that before lockdown anyway).
5. Don't turn around. Don't look back, you aren't going that way! Visualise the entrance of the supermarket and soon you will reach it.
6. Maintain a two-metre distance from everyone at ALL times even if the floor markings aren't clear.
7. Smile and say thank you to the people who are working on the door, they are doing an incredible job during these difficult times, as are all supermarket staff!

I just had a nosebleed halfway through my dinner and it ruined the experience considerably.

Until next time,

Oh wait before I go, I finished Crash Landing on You last night and I'm inconsolable. I'm not going to write any more about it because it's going to get its very own post.

Lauren x

*I realise this is just a cool bag okay, I am aware now.

I just want to make it perfectly clear that, like the rest of the world at the moment, the only time I venture beyond the parameters of my flat is to either a) go for a walk or b) go to the supermarket. Sometimes the two coincide. I don’t even stand outside our front door in the morning and observe the world, which I can’t do anyway, even if I wanted to, we back onto a bunch of offices and get no sun this side.

Anyway, yesterday before heading out I got dressed, straightened my hair, put on makeup and popped a hay fever tablet. Feeling together, I walked along the streets of London as the blossom from the trees blew through my hair like a Disney movie. Clutching onto an extensive shopping list I had written over the Easter weekend, I set my sights on a Tesco I had been meaning to visit due to its small and fast-moving queue.

In the first two weeks of lockdown, I felt that ‘getting ready for the day’ (that’s in quotation marks because what does getting ready for the day even mean anymore?) was arbitrary and redundant. I wasn’t going into the office, I wasn't going to have eye contact with a mysteriously handsome stranger on the tube at 8:00am who I was then never going to see again, so who cares? My flatmates don’t care, I don’t care, what's the point? For 14 days I carried on with this mindset, applauding myself for saving both on makeup wipes and not using my eyeliner, mascara or blush. I let my hair go unbrushed and I was only shaving my legs up to my knees in the shower.

Once the initial adjustment period passed, and I had cycled through all my pyjamas and loungewear, I realised that I never felt nice, right? I never felt special. I wasn’t wearing any of my favourite clothes or shoes, I was just moping around in an oversized t-shirt that had various food stains on it, pretending that this was some abstract form of self-care.

It doesn't have to be every day that I sit down, style my hair and arduously draw on winged eyeliner to then go and stand in a queue outside a supermarket for 15 minutes, but every once in awhile it helps, honestly. Even if you aren't going anywhere, just do it for yourself.

Other Bits
I still can’t do a press-up
I’ve been watching a Korean show on Netflix called Crash Landing on You - stop what you’re doing right now and put it on. Each episode is like an hour and a half long but it's so worth it.
I have a moodboard Instagram account where I post pictures of things I like @lawhr0n

Until next time,

Lauren x

Here, dear reader, you are witnessing the miraculous and steady transformation of my wardrobe whose new chapter begins with the purchase of these mules. I will acknowledge that I already had all the garments pictured in my arsenal but I feel that the addition of heels truly improves the whole vibe.

Mules

Accessories
Bag
Sunglasses

Outfit #1
Puff-Sleeve Top (This hurt to put on and take off)
Jeans (Levi's 501s)

Outfit #2
Racerback Vest Top
Suit Trousers

Outfit #3
Dress (Fits loose at the back so I usually pin it to give it a bit of shape)

Lauren's Top Tip: I get all my trousers and jeans adjusted on the waist so the fit is *chefs kiss*. Just head to your local dry cleaners (not now obviously) and they usually have a tailors service too. It costs me £20 to get the waist taken in and I recommend it 100%.

Still watching The Walking Dead, I think it's getting better.

C u l8r

Lauren x

Last night when I was getting ready for bed I noticed that my room smelt of the bolognese I had laboriously cooked for dinner several hours earlier. I was slightly surprised by this, but as my bedroom shares a wall with the kitchen (it’s a small flat) it’s not totally shocking for my culinary delights to seep through the brick and plaster. However, this wasn’t the smell of ridiculously good bolognese (like the kind you get at Terroni of Clerkenwell, if you know, you know) - this was the smell of me following a BBC Food recipe for too long in an attempt to work some sustenance into my weekly lockdown diet.

After opening my window, I began to clear my bed of books, phone cables, chargers, bags, keys and any bits of clothing I had discarded throughout the day that now required folding. When I was down to the last item, I held in my hands a beloved wardrobe staple (a piece in my collection that I actually want to wear) from AYM, formerly Boom Boom The Label. Once back on its hanger and tucked away for the night, I thought about all the other independent stores I love, and that deserve enthusiastic attention at this time, so I’m going to share them, right now, with you. Drum roll, please.

Bourne T-shirt £39 // Bourne Long-Sleeve Top £49

AYM
This brand is how my sexier, more extrovert side would dress if she had parties to go to, places to be and was heading out on a stream of dates that all took place at different rooftop bars where the drinks come in quirky glasses. Alas, I don’t have any of these experiences under my belt, but I do own a fair few pieces from AYM to wear during my regular shmegular life. (FYI: the fit is amazing).

Lightning Studs £12 // 13mm Hoop Pair £30

SEOL + GOLD
My ears are overly sensitive (just like the rest of me) and I’ve therefore always, always struggled to find earrings that don’t cause crusty, gammy ooziness to seep from my piercings. You’ll be pleased to know the search is over and has been for some time. Thank you Seol + Gold.

Image is from here

GOODHOOD
According to one of my closest friends, this store is ‘the best thing about Shoreditch’. It’s edgy, somewhat intimidatingly so and stocked to the brim with things you don’t need but also kind of do. I’ve lost track of the times younger me applied for a job at Goodhood, and how often I’ve considered buying a HAY toothbrush in ‘soft rose’ for £4 when I’ve been browsing their shelves. An essential, but not really, but also yes.

Cross Necklace £160

LILY & ROO
My St Christopher is the most precious piece of jewellery I own, I am never without it, but after a while, I realised he needed a friend. After searching 'minimal gold jewellery' and 'simple gold jewellery' for what felt like days, I found Lily & Roo and now my St Christopher is lonely no more.

What are some of your favourite independent brands?

HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL,

Bye, buh bye, adiós,

Lauren x

I aim to get out of the house once a day for general sanity, breathing space and to make the most of the fact we still can. I have a fear of jogging (don’t ask) so I use my slice of government allotted recreation time to stretch my legs on the deserted streets of central London. Today I ventured out alone, two metres from the world, in what felt like the actual start of British Summertime, dressed in cream jeans, white Air Force 1s, a cream ribbed turtle neck and a cream cardigan - a lot of cream going on. It was 22°C outside and as I got to walking, I got to thinking, this outfit, though good, is not good enough - and I hate all my clothes.

(This thought occurs to me at least once a day as I trawl through Instagram, mind-numbingly scroll Pinterest and persistently Google 'white side ruched top' 'satin skirt' 'mules' and 'white ribbed tank top' only to stare at the checkout page for hours before getting up and making a cup of tea. I don't help myself).

The more I continued with my afternoon the more I started to realise how much I disliked my wardrobe back at the flat. Construction-wise it's exactly how I want it to be, the coat hangers all match and I have that IKEA storage system that hangs from the rail. Excellent. The clothes that occupy my closet, however, are a different story, a whole 500 page novel on the struggle between dressing like a tomboy and wanting to look fabulously chic, a conflict that has stalked me since I was 18.

I’m not saying all the items I own are bad, they really aren’t, but they could be so much better. One half of my wardrobe is a collection of oversized black and white men’s t-shirts from Uniqlo, (which I love, that’s not a slam) baggy jeans and big comfy sweatshirts. The who I want to be half of things contains open back tops, suit trousers, and an excessive amount of knitwear from & Other Stories. You get the picture. You get the clash.

I suppose what I was asking myself on my walk, as I dodged the sunlight desperately looking for shade without stopping, is can the two me’s coexist someway? Can they find a way to blend happily? Support one another and grow harmoniously?

Turning onto the home stretch, I reached a conclusion: the answer is no. When this lockdown has been lifted I’ll have worn enough sweatpants, oversized t-shirts and jogging bottoms to last me a lifetime. My wardrobe is safe, it's easy, it's comfortable. I always tell myself that I could get dressed in the dark if I wanted to. But I don't want to, what use is that skill? And how many times have I ever needed to ever get dressed in the dark anyway? My clothes don't make me feel special, they don't make me feel anything, and with a stack of Vogue's piling up over the years, it's about time that I love what I wear just as much as I love fashion. When I emerge from this I don't want to keep thinking, 'oh I'll wear that outfit someday' or 'one day I'll dress like that'. The time is NOW.

**The pictures above aren't me sadly but they are a reflection of what my wardrobe is about to look like. I feel good. I feel great.

Some of my fave Instagram accounts worth following for fashion inspo:
@jacquiealexander
@jessalizzi
@the_drobe (always post such good fits!)
@cerecampbell
@sofiamcoelho

I'm still watching the Walking Dead and I hate it X infinity

This song: Without You - Spooky Black

Stay safe out there,

Lauren x

Public Service Announcement: I have never done this before, this is not a professional guide and it's also not something that I would attempt again, BUT I now know I could do if I had to,  so there's that. 

Items used:
Acetone (£9.99)
A nail kit (£7.99) This kit kinda sucks, I only used the finger clip things and the brush
Three nail files (I used them all)
Cotton rounds (I cut mine into little squares)
A nail clipper (it’s a baby one because I couldn’t buy any adult ones in Boot’s on the day I went looking for stuff like that)

In hindsight, I probably should’ve watched a video on how to do this beforehand, but alas, I did not. I am comforted by the fact that the shellac removal was a success though and my nails are now short, ugly and look like they’ve been dipped in glue. I basically did this from memory, trying my best to follow how my shellac is usually taken off at the nail salon. I would say the whole process took about an hour, maybe a little bit more, but hey I don't even know what day it is.

To kick things off I filed the shellac down on all my fingernails till I could start to see my own nail underneath. Once I did this I soaked five little squares in acetone before clipping them to my left hand. Now the waiting part. Usually, this is so much faster in the salon but it took 20 minutes for the shellac to begin to peel for me. After this, I could easily scrape the varnish off. You're going to want to repeat this all for your other hand in case that wasn't explicitly clear.

Voila, that’s it, the shellac is gone. For a final step, I cut my nails right back so they’re super short. They’re a little sore now too and I’m sad that they look gross but overall I’m happy that the nails are d-o-n-e.

Thoughts I had while taking the shellac off:
This hurts. Why am I doing this? I miss my nail salon. I’m never getting shellac ever again. (Looks at a picture of a manicure and cries). This is not fun. I’ve filed my own nail too much and now I’m going to have a hole in the middle of my finger.

Stay tuned for more #laurenhacks as I help you navigate lockdown.

Other bits:
Shoutout to my flatmate Jules (@jbrugnerotti) for taking these photos for my blog
I’m still watching the Walking Dead and I am screaming at every episode
**The colour on my nails is O.P.I Don't Bossa Nova Me Around

Byeeee, bye, bye bye,

Lauren x