I've had had five major bedrooms in my life. 1. My very first bedroom (which I don’t remember) 2. My childhood to teenage bedroom (can I get a yikes?) 3. My room in halls (I used to clean the bathroom floor with lemon-scented hand wipes) 4. My university flat bedroom (Jesus H Christ) and 5. My bedroom in London, which I am in right now.
Number two was where I would spend an inordinate amount of time crying to Bon Iver and imagining I was in a very dramatic, slow-mo music video. This was an ‘I’m going to plaster every wall with all my emotions so you know exactly what I’m feeling’ phase. Horrific. Then when I moved to Edinburgh my room clashed with my life. Pros I had a pinboard, cons everything else. Annnddd shock I’m not even going to waste breath on where I lived after first year.
Screeching in at number five is my current bedroom with a view that I spent 40 minutes looking at today. I'm choosing to ignore the wonky window frame, the hole in the ceiling where the light fixture is missing a screw and the slightly raised staples in the floorboards that nearly ripped my favourite trousers, to tell you that I love this room. It is exactly how I dreamt it would be besides a few minor cosmetic hiccups. I have the Ikea bedside table that also functions as a tray and my extra bedsheets, once folded, act as a feature in the corner of the room. My most frequently worn shoes are all on display and my favourite books are ordered by height, from largest to smallest.
However, as we’ve all had to adjust to life in lockdown, this space has evolved to become an at-home gym, my break room and an oasis from the other communal areas in the flat. Consequently, I've found that it's important to ensure that my bedroom feels like a totally different place. I don't eat in here and I use my desk to apply my makeup, that's about it. I make my bed every morning and keep my room as tidy as I can, hoovering regularly because it gets super, super dusty. Keeping this space clean and neat helps it feel like a nice room to walk into at the end of the day and not somewhere that I've spent too much time in. This all sounds a bit boring but it has helped with the adjustment as our flat, in general, is quite small. When I work out I clear the space next to my bed and I tend to lay directly on the floorboards, using my rug or a towel for comfort. Obviously, this probably isn't a very good idea, but as a temporary fix, I get along fine. I can use my desk chair as a sort of platform sometimes and I'm able to carry out most of my usual workouts without weights (gains lost? zero... haha just kidding).
Other bits:
- My flatmate Jules sent me this link where she writes a letter to herself every year. You can set it for every 1, 3 or 5 years or choose a specific date to receive it and she sends one to herself each birthday. At a time like this, I think it’s really important to document how you're feeling and what you want to achieve so you can look back on it and remember how far you’ve come. I’m going to do this.
- I’ve started watching the Walking Dead and it’s so stressful
- Never Dance Alone (Feat. Ladyhawke) by Crooked Colours makes me feel 4000x better about life right now.
Bye for now,
Lauren x
Today on Lauren's blog we're making (these are already made actually) my mum's infamous, undefeated Bonfire Brownie. Over the duration of my life, I have modified this recipe literally so many times, adding Nutella or subbing in white chocolate chips, I think I even used hot chocolate powder at one point (why? I'm not entirely sure) but the original ingredients still stand and this is the recipe I'm sharing today.
We have scales in the flat, but unfortunately no batteries. Forced to improvise I was able to eyeball this entire recipe (impressive I know). Given that I've cooked these brownies about 5,000 times and this was my first go without following a printed out version of the instructions, I was pretty pleased with myself.
Ingredients:
100g of butter
40g of cocoa powder
225g of caster sugar
2 eggs
50/60g of self-raising flour
100g of milk chocolate chips
You also need some kind of cake tin that's either been lined with parchment paper and buttered or a baking tray that has just been buttered. Set the oven to 150ºc.
Method:
So, get all your ingredients together before you start anything. Next, you want to melt the butter in a small saucepan with the cocoa powder till it's combined nicely (it's going to look like a paste). You can take that off the heat. While that's cooling, mix the eggs and sugar together till the consistency is light and fluffy. You can add the sugar cocoa mix to this next. Once that is all combined, add the flour till the mixture looks like cake batter (thicc). Finally, add almost all of the milk chocolate chips and combine together, then you want to pour the brownie mix into the baking tray you've prepared. Don't forget to sprinkle the remaining chocolate chips on top! Next, let the brownie cook for 40 minutes on that low heat. 20 minutes in I like to check if the batter is still raw in the middle with a skewer or a knife, if the knife comes out clean, you're good to go!
DELICIOUS! BON APPÉTIT! SERVE WITH WHIPPED CREAM.
Lauren x
PSA: WASH YOUR HANDS!
Are your hands pealing, crusty and sore from increased and 100% necessary hand washing? Same. Very much the same. Currently, mine and my flatmate’s hands are especially sore on the knuckles, so with the array of moisturisers we have at home I’m going to talk through the ones we're using to keep our hands as soft as possible.
I use Vaseline for everything. I have the Intensive Care body lotion which is the Aloe Soothe one in the green bottle which I swear by. I aim to apply this every morning and night to my face, elbows and any spots that need something extra. I probably should apply this more liberally to the rest of my body but I forget. (I know, I know, you think I don't know?) For my hands, I use Vaseline Intensive Care Healthy Hands Stronger Nails (it’s in the smaller pink bottle) and I apply that pretty much after every time I wash my hands. THEN (we’re not done) before bed I put the Glossier Rich Moisturiser directly onto my knuckles only. I rub it in, I don't just leave it there. I'm pretty sure that’s not what it’s supposed to be used for, but it works and helps them not look so crusty the next day.
Vaseline Body Lotion - £6
Vaseline Hand Cream - £4
Glossier Moisturiser - £29 (the one in my photo is the mini one from the giftset)
My flatmate, Jules, uses the O'Keeffe's Working Hands cream which I think is going well for her. Our hands are pretty sore so we're open to suggestions if anyone knows any better brands that we can get our hands on at this time? I find the combination of the two moisturisers helps, especially for my knuckles.
O'Keeffe's Working Hands - £5.32 (it's working apparently)
In another announcement, and as Jules is off work and I'm WFH, we've stuck the radio on in the background to help us stay sane and connected to the outside world. What's our station of choice I hear you ask? Why Magic Fm of course. I honestly, truly love Magic Fm, they play all the bangers from Kim Wilde to Queen. You can't go wrong. We had it on for seven hours yesterday.
Stay safe and wash your hands!
Lauren x
P.S my blog is under construction at the moment as I figured a fresh start was in order. I'm just moving stuff around in the coding till I'm happy with it :-)
I have thought long and hard about coming back to blogging. I actually attempted to write a post seven months after getting back from Canada which makes this entry overdue by X, Y, Z amount of days. I’ve missed writing on here and I haven’t. I’ve often wondered if anyone reads it (hi Mum) or if anybody looks through the carefully strung together memories of an incredibly scared young woman, despite the positive words I was sharing.
After I left Edinburgh I healed and I suppose I felt like I didn’t need to blog anymore. I kept posting for sure, but I wasn't the same person (and that was a good thing). I believe that sometimes we suddenly find our calling, you know, like in those beyond shitty situations, we find us, a strength we never knew we had. A resilience, a superhuman power. There we are, when it's the worst, the pits, it really sucks. We cling to whatever it is that makes us feel 1% real for however many minutes in the day and we, miraculously, spin it into something amazing. Well, that was this blog and I owed it to myself to grab onto it with both hands and never let go. Following my heart lead me to write and I was later awarded a Distinction in my Fashion Journalism Masters. I gave myself the clean slate I so desperately wanted, found an amazing job and met people that have encouraged me and supported me in a way that I never would have dreamed was possible.
I turned 25 last week and it was like a physical marker in the sand between myself and the girl I was in my early twenties. To be able to age, to grow, to learn and to love is something I will always be grateful for.
As for why I’m back, and for however long it may be for this time, I think I just need to be here, for me, again. These are uncertain times, and I’m trying to recognise that it’s normal to be scared, as we all are. Navigating the more challenging days requires an intense resilience from all of us and it’s important to take stock of what we have, be thankful for our health, the health of our loved ones, to be able to wake up each day and try and try again.
“…throw roses into the abyss and say: ‘here is my thanks to the monster who didn’t succeed in swallowing me alive.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Stay safe and stay indoors (but still go for isolated walks, if you can!)
It's good to be back,
Lauren x
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